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Miss Allie's Kitchen

Whole & Healthy Home Cooking

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What It’s Like to Be an Accidental Hunter’s Wife

Sharing what it’s like to be an accidental hunter’s wife, learning how to cook with venison and creating a space as a female in the outdoor community.

husband and wife in a green field

Let’s get a few things straight before we go any further. #1 – I totally wanted to marry my husband Jared basically right after I met him. I just never thought I would end up married to a hunter, as much as I love the outdoors myself.

#2 – I’ve always been kind of an outsider. A lot of people are surprised to hear this about me because I’m really outgoing, but I’ve pretty much felt out of place my entire life. I was pretty nerdy growing up so I floated in that middle ground of – not quite removed enough to be considered an outcast, but definitely not cool enough to have a space at the popular table.

I was a competitive horseback rider growing up, but I always seemed to float on the outside there, too. I was never crazy competitive and it took me a long time to learn new concepts, which kept me out of the show ring more than my peers. I tended to gravitate more toward horsemanship and farm management, which always made me sort of the low man on the totem pole. It wasn’t long before I was mucking out my “friends'” horses’ stalls while they were off doing things as a group and traveling to competitions without me.

I finally started to feel like I was a part of something in college. I joined a sorority, made a TON of new friends, and reinvented myself 1,000 miles away from home. But, being from the north and going to school in Alabama, I knew I wasn’t the perfect, southern girl I always wanted to be.

So, what the heck does all of this have to do with being a hunter’s wife?

I’ve always thought hunting was really cool. I didn’t grow up in a family of hunters, but I respected individuals who were well educated, and who were passionate about conservationism and the environment. Actually, before I even met my husband, I took the Pennsylvania required hunter’s safety course just to see what it was all about.

When Jared started bringing home deer meat from his hunts, I reverted back to old behaviors. I took myself out of the equation because I felt like I didn’t know enough about venison to cook it. I thought cooking wild game was just for the boys. Therefore, I didn’t have a place at the table in this outdoor space.

What. A. Load. Of. Horse. Crap.

The things I used to tell myself growing up were really just beliefs I had come to embody somewhere along the line. Was I as weird as I thought I was? Probably not. Was I less than all of the other girls because I didn’t have as many blue ribbons or wasn’t from a specific part of the county? Definitely not.

So, what was stopping me from learning more about wild game so I could stop feeling guilty about all of the meat I was wasting? What was stopping me from learning more about something I was really interested in? ME!

I’m not quite sure when I decided that enough was enough. But, I posted a Venison Shepherd’s Pie on the blog years ago, and it quickly became one of my more popular posts. Interesting, I thought. Maybe other people were feeling the same way I was.

So, I started to research wild game cooking and I did what I usually do when I get interested in something – I went ALL OUT. I started peppering Jared with questions. I got to know his gear, terminology, and I would listen in on conversations he was having. I followed people in the outdoor space on social media, and sort of kind of started listening when the sportsman’s channel was on TV.

All of a sudden, I was writing a venison cookbook, saving $300 a month on groceries because we weren’t buying red meat, and I was LOVING it. I’ve connected with so many new people on Instagram and on my website.

Pulling up a seat at the table and learning to cook with wild game has been one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I feel empowered, educated, and like I can HELP people.

husband and wife in a field with blue outfits

The Field to Table Lifestyle is for you, too

If you’re reading this thinking – me too! – I wrote Field to Table, my 25 recipe cookbook is for you. It’s my hope that everyone with wild game in their freezer learns how to use it so we can start respecting our harvests and feeling empowered.

Sound good? Maybe, there’s nothing accidental about this afterall.

All images by Brianna Wilbur Photography

April Garden Update

April updates from my adventure as a first time home gardener. I’m chatting seed starting & how much fun it is to see your plants come to life!

seeds sprouting out of eggshells in egg cartons by a bright window

This month has been all about seed starting! OHEMGEEE it’s so fun!

You might have noticed that there wasn’t a March recap, and that’s because I was traveling for pretty much the whole month, so there wasn’t anything new to report here.

But April has been really fun. I haven’t done anything too laborious, but seed starting has begun!

I mentioned in my February recap that I was collecting eggshells to plant my seeds in. It’s finally time to put those to good use!

seeds sprouting out of eggshells in egg cartons by a bright window

How I knew when to start my seeds

I’ve been using Grow Veg which is a garden planning software because I’m absolutely clueless, haha. It tells me how many plants I can plant in my raised bed (that I still need to make), when to plant, and when to start seeds. It takes into account the zone that you live in (I’m in 6) so it’s nice and accurate. I’ve been loving it so far. It is like $30 for the year, but I figured it would help me learn the process and I’ll see if I still need it next year.

What I’m growing now

This April, I started my lettuce, tomatoes, bell peppers and jalapenos.

  • seeds sprouting out of eggshells in egg cartons by a bright window
    lettuce
  • seeds sprouting out of eggshells in egg cartons by a bright window
    tomato
  • seeds sprouting out of eggshells in egg cartons by a bright window
    peppers

I got some good quality, organic young plant soil, added some into my egg shells, and dropped the seeds on in! That’s it!

Where I’m growing it

I placed the egg shell cartons in my bathroom window. It’s next to my tub, so our dog Sadie can’t get into them. More importantly, it’s a really warm room with a bright, south facing window.

It frequently has moisture in the air from us showering, too. I held off on getting any grow lights or heating mats because it truly is really warm and cozy back there and I saw growth with the lettuce in just 3-4 days!

The tomatoes are starting to sprout up so let’s keep our fingers crossed that the peppers keep coming along, too!

What are the next steps?

I’ve got the spot nailed down where we’re planting the veggies, so the next step is to get digging + get some good soil in there so we can plant in May or June. Stay tuned for progress updated next month!

Any gardening tips you want to share? Let me know below, or come tell me on Instagram!

How I Get and Stay Productive Working From Home

The top productivity tips I use while working at home so I can focus on impactful tasks that move my career forward.

girl in white kitchen in a plaid shirt with brown hair making pie

Oh, productivity. The number one thing I hear from people is that they don’t have time for some of the steps I’ve taken that have been crucial for my professional development as an entrepreneur.

I totally get it. Life is CRAZY these days. I don’t remember time moving this fast when I was growing up.

I do feel, especially as a millennial, that there is this immense amount of pressure to do it ALL. Have the career so you can make the money to travel, workout, do hot yoga, buy all of the clothes you see on Instagram, make time for all of your different friend groups. Oh and don’t forget about your family. Or heaven forbid your significant other. PHEW.

So, how do you get past all of the noise?

My days now look drastically different than they did a year ago. ESPECIALLY a year and a half ago.

When I started working from home, I would wake up, immediately stressed out, throw on Jared’s old sweats and get right to work. I’d spend the entire day freaking out, half getting work done, half cruising the internet, always disappointed with what I accomplished for the day.

SO, here’s what I’m doing differently.

girl in white kitchen in a plaid shirt with brown hair and a wine glass

Making a Conscious Choice to Change My Habits

Changing my habits during the day started with a choice. I think I really reached that point this fall. I was so overwhelmed, I knew something had to change, and I figured I’d start with feeling like crap about my productivity during the day.

I made the choice to slowly start shifting these habits I’d created. I decided to listen to the advice I’d been given and give up the crummy excuses like, “I don’t have time to sit quietly in the morning”. It’s important to note that these changes slowly happened over the course of 2 years, so give yourself some grace if you’re embarking on this change, too.

Blocking Time

Time blocking is my favorite tool to use for when I look at my to-do list and it’s literally a mile long & I I’m not sure where to start.

I start by picking out the “have to’s”. These are tasks like completing or submitting client work, writing a post that goes live the next day or getting the images ready. So, things that have a very near time stamp. I know how long most of my tasks take me. If you don’t, the next time you work on a project, set a timer to get a rough estimate.

I then schedule my tasks into my Google Calendar which I normally keep on weekly view. Here’s what it looks like:

Then, I fill in my schedule with other tasks, making sure to set aside personal time & time for impactful tasks when I can.

Morning Routine/Journal

This has been one of my most transformational aspects of my day. I now wake up an hour to an hour and a half before I need to be working.

I get up, wash face, brush teeth – all that jazz. I then get some lemon water while I throw in a load of laundry, unload the dishwasher, make the bed and pour coffee.

I then move to getting ready, making breakfast and I finally sit down to do some personal development and journaling. I’m currently finishing May Cause Miracles by Gabrielle Bernstein. I jot down a gratitude list and my mindset shift like CRAY CRAY.

If you don’t have a morning routine, this sounds like insanity. And I understand that some people, like my husband, have to wake up by 5am to make it to work on time. So, it can be something really small. BUT, if you’re a solo entrepreneur like me, DO THIS. You have the time. No bull****.

Get Dressed

AH, real clothes. When I first started working from home, I took it as an opportunity to wear sweats and no makeup all day. This might really work for some people, but I’ve always really enjoyed working with makeup (it feels like painting to me) and fashion.

Getting dressed (this could even mean putting on a cute workout outfit or a tee + jeans!) is crucial for me to feel like I’m a professional and I mean business. Yes, it takes effort, but it’s worth it.

Accepting What Works For Me

I still sometimes stress over the fact that I don’t wake up at 6am and get my workout over with first thing in the morning. I’ve you’ve ever read one of those “Top 10 Things High Earning Professional Do Each Morning” posts, waking up early and working out first thing is on it.

I’m a night owl. Sometimes, I enjoy working until 10 or 11pm and I love having a workout to look forward to at the end of the day. You don’t have to have the same routine as everyone else to be productive, and that’s OK!

Professional Development

This is one of the most important pieces of my puzzle. I have business coaches. I work with Nicole and Dan Culver and 95% of my productivity habits have been learned from them.

Investing in myself guarantees that I’ll stay focused and driven. When I signed on for intensive coaching this fall, putting a large amount of money toward coaching felt intimidating. But, it keeps me focused and full of fresh ideas so I can continue to perform at a higher level.

If you’re interested in seeing what Nicole & Dan have to offer, click here to get on the waitlist for their coaching group Shift University.

Scheduling Personal Time

If you’re a reforming workaholic like me, it might benefit you to actually put personal time into your schedule. Block out the date night time, or even time to eat lunch, even if it’s 10 minutes.

Write down things that make you happy (like spending time outside, taking a bath, grabbing a coffee) and put it in your schedule so you can’t plow through the day and stand up from your desk feeling bleary eyed and miserable.

Let’s GSD (get s*** done)!

I hope this is helpful for you! You’ll see that most of productivity really comes from being realistic with your time and taking care of yourself so you can keep performing at a high level.

I’d love to know YOUR favorite productivity tips – find me over on Instagram and let me know what works for you!

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All-Purpose Venison Marinade

This all-purpose venison marinade is perfect for tenderizing and flavoring whatever cut of venison you’re working with and it uses simple ingredients. 

This all-purpose venison marinade is perfect for tenderizing and flavoring whatever cut of venison you're working with and it uses simple ingredients.

Ah, the all-purpose marinade. I’ve been messing around with venison marinades for some time now. I think it’s important to have something you can whisk together in a pinch. I’ve tried crazier ingredients like hot sauces, maple syrup, mustard, and more, but I keep coming back to this bright, fresh, and simple version.

This is a great marinade to use on a tenderloin, backstrap, chops, steaks—really any cut—and especially those that are tougher in nature. The acid helps break down the tissue and tenderize.

Want more recipes like this? Grab my e-cookbook – Field to Table

Get the Field to Table E-Cookbook!

25 delicious & fresh venison recipes, cooking tips + a printable grocery staples shopping list

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    All Purpose Venison Marinade

    • Author: Miss AK
    • Prep Time: 5 minutes
    • Total Time: 5 minutes
    • Yield: 4-6
    Print Recipe

    Description

    This all-purpose venison marinade is perfect for tenderizing and flavoring whatever cut of venison you’re working with and it uses simple ingredients. 

    Ingredients

     

    • ¼ cup olive oil

    • 2 Tbsp. red wine vinegar

    • ½ lemon, juiced

    • 3 garlic cloves, minced and smashed

    • 1 tsp. Italian seasoning

    • ¾ tsp. salt

    • ½ tsp. pepper

    Instructions

     

    1. Add all of the ingredients to a jar with a lid or a bowl.

    2. Shake or whisk together vigorously.

    3. Use as desired.

    • Category: Sauce/Marinade

    Nutrition

    • Serving Size: 2 Tbsp.
    • Calories: 144
    • Sugar: 1 g
    • Sodium: 441 mg
    • Fat: 14 g
    • Saturated Fat: 2 g
    • Unsaturated Fat: 1 g
    • Trans Fat: 0 g
    • Carbohydrates: 5 g
    • Fiber: 1 g
    • Protein: 1 g
    • Cholesterol: 0 mg

    Keywords: marinade, venison, meat

    February Garden Recap

    Recapping everything I’ve done to plan our first garden for the warmer months this February!

    Recapping everything I've done to plan our first garden for the warmer months this February!

    It’s happening. It’s happening. It’s REALLY happening. I, Allie, am planting a garden this year.

    Well, that is, if I convince my husband to build me a raised garden bed amidst the construction of our garage. Hopefully putting this our on the interweb will kind of guilt trip him into it. (I kid, I kid).

    No but really, it’s happening. Last summer was tough. We were about 5 months into a waiting game with the sale of our current home, living in a second story apartment that literally had no sun exposure or room to be outside, at all.

    I basically got myself through thinking about planting a garden one day, in my very own backyard with the hot sun on my back. So, I started to do a little research.

    Turns out – planting a garden is NO JOKE, folks. It like, takes planning? Who’da thunk.

    But really though, through my research, I learned that if you plan to have a garden, especially if you plan on starting your own seeds, you have to start planning in the winter. I’ve had a ton of fun so far, and I’m going to share each month my progress, the steps I’ve taken, thoughts, and resources I’m using.

    Disclaimer – I have no idea what I’m doing here, and this is all a learning process. I may not even be able to grow one sprout, but I’m going to have fun trying!

    Goal setting

    Like with all great things – goals are important. They help you understand they why behind doing something! Here are mine:

    • Rely less on the grocery store/ be more self sufficient. I’d love the majority of our diet to come from wild game + home grown produce.
    • Save some smackers.
    • Reduce our carbon footprint
    • Get dirty 🙂 – I’m a farm girl at heart & I really think this will contribute to my quality of life

    Started my compost pile + hoarding eggshells

    All of the research I was doing came back to one thing – quality soil is key & compost can be a great addition to a garden to enrich soil. I also love the idea of less food waste. I’m also saving all of my eggshells to start my seeds in them. Free & nutrient dense.

    I simply started mine in a big tub with a lid that I got for $4. I drilled ventilation holes in the top and drainage holes in the bottom and I’m filling it with 1 part green matter (plant based kitchen scraps, grass clippings) to 1 part brown matter (leaves, existing organic soil from pots, cardboard, paper). I’m only using plant based items like peels and veggie + fruit ends & cores, no animal products. It works faster + reduces small.

    Here are some resources I found helpful:

    Planned out my garden

    Okay so as a total beginner, I was a bit tripped up reading all of the seed packets and I felt a little daunted knowing when to start my different seeds since I decidded that seemed more cost effective than buying plants from a nursery. I wanted to keep everything really simple, so I made myself pick 5 things to start with, and I made sure to pick out items that harvested at different-ish times so I could ease into things.

    You might think I’m a little nutty or hardcore, but I’ve been using a garden planner – it’s called Grow Veg. I did end up spending the $30 yearly fee, but I love that it tells me when to start my seeds, when to plan, how many I can fit in my 4’x8′ raised bed & when I can expect to start harvesting. I’ll be back to tell you if I think it’s worth it.

    Ordered seeds

    Once I narrowed down the size of my raised garden bed (4’x8′), and picked out my 5 things to grow (lettuce, basil, tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers) it was time to order seeds. Here are a few good resources on picking out seeds:

    And here’s what I ordered! I decided to go with High Mowing Seeds.

    I hope this is helpful to all of you hopeful green thumbs out there! Stay tuned next month! xx – A

    Wedding Registry Must Haves

    Kitchen and entertaining tools that every home cook should have on hand, especially if you don’t want to clutter your kitchen with gadgets!

    Kitchen and entertaining tools that every home cook should have on hand, especially if you don't want to clutter your kitchen with gadgets!

    POST CONTAINS AFFILIATE LINKS. YOUR PRICE REMAINS THE SAME BUT I MAY RECEIVE A SMALL COMMISSION!
    Alright folks, as promised! Here are some of my most used items in my kitchen from day to day! I’m not a big gadget gal, but we entertain a lot so it’s important to me to have the right tools that are efficient and go well with our casual but classic style of entertaining.

    Pretty, neutral, nesting mixing bowls – Pottery Barn – $69

    Our kitchen knife set by Wusthof. Absolutely adore – WS – $399.99 – we also added this 7″ Santoku knife and it’s a dream – WS – $79.75

    Classic white cake stand – Pottery Barn – $44

    The best cookie sheets – WS – $54 for 2 and I use these Quarter Sheets weekly – WS – $36 for 2

    My favorite Emile Henry baking set, I have it in white – WS – $184

    The updated model of my Food Processor. I use mine constantly – WS – $249.95

    Cookie scoop – WS – $12. I use this for everything from cookies to meatballs.

    Literally obsessed with our Dutch Oven – Milo – $95

    Every home cook needs a reliable Instant Read Digital Thermometer – WS – $39.95

    The mother of all Kitchenaid Mixers. If you bake a lot, and frequently make double batches, you’re going to want to go with something from the pro line. I was hesitant, too but SO glad I did – WS – $799

    Silpat liners for baking sheets – WS – $26.95

    I adore my Copper Roasting Pan – WS – $159.99. Great for chickens, smaller turkey, roasts, and it’s gorgeous.

    This is an updated version of my Calphalon Pot and Pan set. Mine set is 6 years old and looks brand new – WS – $529

    I keep this Cherry Cutting Board on my island at all times. I put cheese on it when we have guests, and use it for quickly cutting fruits and veggies during the day – WS – $149.95 for the large

    I underestimated how much I would use these Steak Knives. They’re understated, beautiful and super sharp – WS – $99 for 6

    We use out Microplane Rasp Grater constantly – WS – $14.95

    We’re obsessed with our Waffle Maker. It NEVER sticks – WS – $129.95

    We’re in love with our Decanter – WS – $49.95

    And we chose the Estate Collection from Williams Sonoma for our stemware. Delicate + classic – Cabernet ($149 for 8) , Sauvignon Blanc ($49 for 2), Champagne ($49 for 2)

    The Gift Guide for the Outdoorsy Guy

    The ultimate gift guide for the outdoorsy guy who would rather spend all of his time outside or in the gym. These things are all built to last.

    The ultimate gift guide for the outdoorsy guy who would rather spend all of his time outside or in the gym. These things are all built to last. 

    You asked for it, I delivered! Here are picks by J, my dad, and my brother! They all have one or multiple of these items so you know they’re durable + great for those who love to spend time outside. My brother and J are both over 6’2″, so all of the clothing items work great for longer dudes. Happy shopping!

    This leather/money clip (it’s actually real leather!) is awesome – $29.99 – a great price, J, my dad, and brother all have it.

    J practically lives in these Under Armour Joggers – $59.99

    J’s watch by Citizen – $562.50.

    We both love Darn Tough socks – $21 -, my brother introduced us to them for our long hikes! No blisters. Here’s another great, basic pair. 

    All my guys (J, my broski, Matt & my dad) have this Carhartt Sweatshirt – $99.99 . It’s nicer than your standard, it’s weatherproof and crazy warm. (J & Matt have a large tall, my dad has a medium – he’s 5’11”)

    We LOVE this Garmin GPS – $349.99. J uses it for hunting and we use it all the time for hiking when we don’t have service. It could literally save your booty!

    The Banana Republic slim fit shirts work great for J – on sale for $36. He sizes up and goes for a long length – he’s 6’4″, broad build.

    Zeiss Binoculars for the win – $449.99!

    This oNX Public/Private Land Topo Map app displays land ownership for the hunter – $119.99. Make sure you get the appropriate one for your state.

    Okay, it’s spendy, but dudes go crazy for Traeger grills. That’s a fact. This is the one we have – $999.95.

    and if you’re going for it, we love Adler wood pellets – $18.95.

    *post contains affiliate links. if you choose to purchase through one of these, I make a small commission, but your price remains the same.

    The Ultimate Gift Guide For Her

    The Ultimate Gift Guide For Her. These are the things you need to add to your list or to put on the list for your favorite modern gal who loves to feel cozy, chic, and remembered this Holiday.

    The Ultimate Gift Guide For Her. These are the things you need to add to your list or to put on the list for your favorite modern gal who loves to feel cozy, chic, and remembered this Holiday.

    Alright, so if you’re anything like me, you have no idea what you want this year. OR, you have no idea what to get the gal who has everything. Or seemingly everything “wink wink”. Everything you see here – I have it or it’s on my list. There’s everything from basics, to hostess gifts to big spenders. I hope you find something you love. And really, I hope you find the joy that’s so much more important than any gift under the tree.

    Clothing/Accessories

    1. The most BEAUTIFUL and understated turquoise Kendra Scott Earrings – $65 – I have several sizes of Kendra’s and these are a happy medium.
    2. I LOVE this bag. – $174.99 – J got it monogrammed for me last year and it STILL looks brand new! All-purpose leather tote.
    3. Fuzziest funnel-neck pullover – $49.99 on sale – J got this for me as an early present (because I thought the package was for me to him, but hey!). This comes in tall sizes, which I have! (I’m 5’9″)
    4. Cute, athletic tech gloves – $45 – functional, kinda cute and mega warm.
    5. My favorite slippers in the world. – $100 – J got these for my for my birthday in June and they’re worth every penny.
    6. THE JEANS – $187.75 – attention all long-legged gals with a bit of a bootayyy. I’ve worn these for 5+ years (and I still have them, that’s how long they last). True to size, I don’t need a longer length and I’m about 5’9″.
    7. Fuzziest socks on the planet. – $15 – Nuff said.
    8. Thread and Supply Wubby Fleece  – $78 – hot on my list. I mean leggings & boots in the airport. Game on.
    9. BP Black Leather Bootie – $89.95 -I love suede as much as the next gal but GOSH has it been rainy lately. I love these because they won’t be totally ruined by the rain, they have a classic heel AND I mean…they cute.

    For the Home

    1. The prettiest wine glasses – $49.95 – delicate, understated & perfect.
    2. Our favorite wood serving bowls – $15.77 – we have the medium and large
    3. This tray – $49.50 –  is perfect for serving or for the coffee table
    4. The BEST antler napkin rings – $17 – I mean…
    5. Our favorite candle – $28
    6. These floor pillows are ON this gals list – $49.99 – can I get an amen?

    Treasures

    1. The perfect cuff – $325 – this guy has been on my wrist for over 6 years now
    2. And the ring to top it all off – $675 – because pearls are a classic. This is a timeless classic I’ll always treasure.

    Beauty + Self Care

    1. The best book I’ve read all year -$22.99 – girl, you need this.
    2. My clean beauty pick for blush/highlighter/eyeshadow – $21.49
    3. And for bronzer – $21.49 – you glow, girl.
    4. My notebook -$21.46 – the perfect gratitude journal (pssst, it’s pretty and gold.)
    5. THE BLANKET -$119 – because everyone needs a cuddly blanket for self-care

     

    This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase through one of them, your price is the same, but I receive a small commission!

     

    Lucky Number 7 – Our 7 Month Marriage Update

    Lucky Number 7 – Our 7 Month Marriage Update on life & love.

    Lucky Number 7 - Our 7 Month Marriage Update on life & love. 

    You may wonder why I’m posting an update at our 7-month mark. It’s because we forgot our 6-month anniversary. Plain and simple. Yikes, man.

    The other day J texted me and was like “5 months this week!!!”. And I was like “huh?”. He said, “oh, wait 6 months!!”. Then my lightbulb clicked on and I realized – “oh! you mean we’ve been married for 7 months!!”. I promise, we’re getting it together, really.

    But quite honestly, the past 7 months have been incredible. This season in life has been kind of a roller coaster, especially for me, but our marriage – man, that feels really good right now.

    I’m posting this because I want to reach those of you who are embarking on an adventure with a new spouse. I don’t really FEEL like I have the authority to post about marriage (I mean, I’ve only been doing it for 7 months) but I’ll tell you that ours is something I’m proud of. It’s something that we’ve both invested in and shown up for every day for the last 212.917 days (that’s how many days Google says are in 7 months).

    Someone told me recently that J and I look like we’re having a lot of fun, and you know what – it’s because we are gosh darnit! Sometimes, it’s easier to talk about struggles than come out and say what IS working for you. And right now, what we’re doing seems to be really working for our marriage. Instead of stealing the show, I’m going to let my hubby steer the rest of this.

    I sent him a message the other day saying I wanted to post about what married life looks like. I asked him to think on his lunch break and get back to me. Y’ALL HE DROPPED SOME GOOD ISH! So below, you’ll find some sage advice from J with little translations + follow ups from me, they’ll be in italics.

    Words from J & A:

    J: Wrote this of as if I was writing an article, hopefully, it makes sense:

    (A: who’s the blogger now?)

    J: Take as much time as needed and work on completing tasks with your significant other (husband/wife). Starting new projects (such as a home renovation) allows you to be independent but the thought of knowing that you can count on another human (my favorite human) to help you out the rest of your life and complete things together or achieve a goal is an amazing feeling.

    A: what I think he’s getting at here is that getting married means somebody has your back. So, do things together. Big things. Something I think we both struggle with is being very independent to a fault. We’ve worked to be teammates and it feels good to have someone you love in your corner. 

    J: Make time for one another, go on random dates, try not to be selfish, allow your significant other to take a risk (even if there is money involved – like your classes). TRUST is and will always be key.

    A: phew OK Dr. Phil!!! Dopping some serious stuff here. If you’re anything like us, your first year of marriage could be a really full one. You may need to say no to people (even family) to carve out time for each other, or make time on weeknights to do something just the two of you. I know when we go out to dinner, the world melts away after about 15 minutes. 

    Ahhh and the risk-taking. Jared encouraged me to spend a large amount of money (to us) on business coaching the month we settled on a house. Yeah…crazy right? But him believing in me that much has fueled such a fire in me. With his support, I have been able to radically shift my business and I hope to be able to contribute to our family in an even bigger way. To touch on trust, I think he knew he could count on me to hold up my end of the bargain. He knew I wouldn’t make a decision that would really hurt us and he knows I’ll work hard to hold up my end of a deal + my portion of contributions. 

    J: I must also say that it’s never good to continue an argument over a long period of time. Either work things out or agree to disagree and move on. As much as you are most likely very similar to your spouse, you are also different and you won’t always agree on things. Right?!

    A: riiiiight 🙂 can you tell which one of us is the more level-headed one? No, but really this is true. I don’t know many people who LIKE to be in arguments, so figure out how to get through them in a timely manner. Do you need to walk out of the room for 10 minutes or go for a run? Or, sit down and calmly talk it out right away? Figure what works! 

    Before we wrap up – here’s my favorite piece of advice: Please & Thank You are the magic words. 

    I know it sounds weird, but sometimes the last people we’re polite to are our significant others. We know they’ll take our crap and still love us. BUT, I notice when I ask J for things nicely, he’s more than willing to do them, and when I positively reinforce behavior that I like he’s more likely to do it again. He brings flowers – I tell him 10,000 times how much it means. Wanna bet he does it again?

    Also, get a dog. 🙂

    If Happiness Was Easy, Everyone Would Be Doing It.

    Happiness may be simple, but sometimes it isn’t easy. Here are some things that I do, that everyone can do, to add joy to our lives when we’re in a funk.

    Happiness may be simple, but sometimes it isn't easy. Here are some things that I do, that everyone can do, to add joy to our lives when we're in a funk.

    I’ve always been a happy person. At a young age, I remember my mom bought me my first perfume, Happy Heart by Clinique, because the name reminded her of me. As a teen, I remember people would ask me what was wrong with me – “why are you so happy all of the time” they’d say. Making people feel good, valued and special is what I do. 90% of the time when you see me in public, I’ll smile. I’ll try to brighten your day. It’s just how I am.

    However, over the last few years being “happy” has gotten harder to do. I’ve given a little bit too much of myself to my business, to people who don’t fill my cup up, to events, to travel – I really could go on. I started taking life too seriously. I got used to pushing through the hard times and now that the dust has settled, I’m often at a loss for what to do. It’s a shame because my life is really beautiful right now and sometimes I can feel it slipping by me like a ghost.

    But here’s the thing – I’m not really willing to accept that. I’m not willing to accept mediocracy or a glass half empty mindset. I’m not willing to be ungrateful and I’m certainly not willing to keep living in fear. There are exceptions to this, if you’re living with mental illness (please seek help if so!) this may not be right for you, but if you’re like me, we have to do something to cultivate joy. We simply can’t sit passively by and let it all slip out of reach.

    I’ve been running away from writing this post because I don’t really have all of this figured out yet. I haven’t reached that divine place of accepting every gift with joy and radiating at an enlightened frequency. But, I’m trying, I’m moving the needle forward, so, from one stressed out, overworked gal with a packed calendar to another, here’s what I’ve been doing to get my life back. Here’s how I’m finding joy:

    1. Get Help

    #1 get some help. I really don’t care who it is, as long as they have your best interest in mind. I have a business coach. Or coaches. Their names are Nicole and Dan and they are the most BA married couple and they work with solo entrepreneurs like myself. This summer I decided to increase my amount of coaching and to be quite frank, a lot of my calls with them are more like therapy. So, get you a coach that encourages, meditation, gratitude, prayer or thankfulness, and/or get some professional help. There’s nothing wrong with admitting you need it. If this is the push you need to make the investment, here it is. I say so.

    2. Take a Time Out.

    Easier said than done, I know. Y’all, we live in the age of the hustle. We’ve been told our entire lives that hard work pays off. Couple that with this era of technology where your email pings nonstop, Instagram is a click away and group texts are running rampant like wildfire – is burnout really a surprise? Take it from the girl that worked on her own honeymoon – I get it, turning off is nearly impossible.

    But we really need to. Wedge your phone in the couch so you can’t see it, take out a book, stare at the wall, go for a walk, a drive, binge on TV, go out to dinner with your SO. Do SOMETHING to help you do nothing.

    3. Eat Something.

    I find that stressed out people normally fall into 2 camps – non-eaters, or the everything eaters. I tend to be a combo – I won’t take time to feed myself and when it comes time to sit down at the end of the day, I’m too drained to cook so we order pizza or go out and it’s refined carbs + wine & no vegetables. The other day I actually ate 4 Reeses for dinner. What in the…?

    Y’all I KNOW BETTER. I know how good food can affect the brain – I’m a food blogger that focuses on healthy food. There’s nothing wrong with pizza, refined carbs, and wine, but if I haven’t been eating leafy greens, healthy fats and complex carbs to keep me fueled…like hello, yes I’m assisting in self-destruction. So, here’s what I’m telling you to do. Cross one thing off your to-do list and make time to make yourself some fuel. Need easy ideas: try the chicken thighs, my taco soup, this apple baked oatmeal  ,or this sweet potato and bison hash.

    4. Get Moving + Stretching

    It’s easy to cast aside a gym date or a walk with yourself. And sometimes, overworking our bodies can do more harm than good. But, once you’ve had a good ole rest, dust yourself off, put on your cutest leggings (you know, the ones that make you look like a Lulu model), your favorite sports bra and get out there, sister. For me, high-intensity workouts at least 3-5 times a week and yoga is what I need. I’m a really athletic, high energy person, so that may not be your truth, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

    But, figure out what works for you. Put a treadmill in your basement, get a dog walker once a twice a week so you can get to your barre class, and don’t forget to stretch. When we’re stressed, we have a tendency to clench up like a ball. Our shoulders practically attach to our ears, our butts and hips are probably tighter than a brand new hair tie – but, just a simple 5-minute stretch or yoga practice can make all of the difference.

    Here are some yoga workouts and stretches I love!!

    Yin yoga release (25 mins)

    Relaxing yoga (12 minutes)

    Sore back release (8 minutes – great for tension)

    Yoga workout blast (20 minutes – sweat + stretch)

    Easy 10 min morning yoga  (10 mins – duh)

    5. Call a Friend.

    Feeling like this can be isolating. AND, even if you’re extroverted, you may just need to be alone for a while. But reach out to someone. You don’t have to have coffee today, maybe next week. Get something fun on the calendar. Maybe it’s a date night with your spouse. Or actually texting that really nice girl you met at yoga. Or having brunch with your best friend or a skype date with someone you don’t see so often.

    I know it’s hard when you feel like you’re down. Don’t feel like you have to be 100% to make a connection. It will help I promise.

    6. Practice Gratitude.

    Alright, sister friend, let’s get one thing straight – things may not be the best right now, but God (or the universe, etc. if that’s your jam) will certainly not put anything on your plate that you cannot handle. One way, arguably the most important way, we can get out of a funk is by truly practicing gratitude for what is right in front of us. I guarantee you, that you have something you can be grateful for right there, staring you in the face.

    Write it down, pray about it, say it out loud. And then sit there and think about a few other things. I keep a gratitude journal I try to write in every morning. It helps, it truly does. The more we invite in the positive things, it’s my hope that they’ll continue to come into our lives.

    P.S. Here are some resources I’ve been loving to help encourage that joy mindset:

    1. Book – Girl Wash Your Face, by Rachel Hollis my beautiful friend and yogi Brenda with Yoga B Yoga lent this to me
    2. Devotional – Savor – by Shauna Niequist
    3. Podcast – Rise – by Rachel Hollis
    4. Podcast – The Chasing Joy Podcast – by Georgie Morley
    5. Podcast – The Healthy Maven – Davida Lederle
    6. Video – On Changing Your Frequency – recommended by Nicole Culver
    7. Video – You Are Enough – recommended by Nicole Culver

    Love to you all!!! xoxx – A 

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